


It Always Was A Joke, Wasn’t It?

by blacklightkale



Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, matt is a big crybaby in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15284163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacklightkale/pseuds/blacklightkale
Summary: i wanted to write more i swear.was listening to cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins and i got emotional so thats how we got here.





	It Always Was A Joke, Wasn’t It?

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write more i swear.
> 
> was listening to cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins and i got emotional so thats how we got here.

The concrete was still wet and puddled with water from an earlier rainshower. It was still hot, though. Humid as fuck. Matt could feel his hair frizzing into oblivion under his beanie. He wasn’t paying attention to his friends he was tagging along with. It was Jordon and Dylan in front of him. He only came along to have a drink, since drinking alone on the bus wasn’t a suitable option. The end cuffs of his jeans were getting wet from the amount of puddles that inhabited the pot holes. He didn’t feel like speaking. He felt his friends eyes on him every once in awhile to see if he was still there. He wished he wasn’t there with them.

The bar was relaxed; no rowdy drinkers during a Lakers game, or any celebrations happening, but a casual Wednesday night in LA. Matt sat at the end while Jordon and Dylan sat together beside him. Another Long Island Iced Tea. As if he didn’t just have one yesterday night to knock himself out. His friends were chatting about something Matt wasn’t interested in, but he definitely heard them talking about him. His eyes leaned in closer to his glass the more nervous he got. “Matt?”

He turned his head over to Jordon next to him, “What?”

“Um, are you ok?”

There was a concerned tone in his voice. Matt didn’t know how to reply.

“You’re a little too quiet...”

Dylan wasn’t saying anything but he looked over at Matt too. There were eyes on him. It wasn’t anything new, but it was frightening as fuck in the moment. He felt like he was gonna be sick, or blackout, or both. He didn’t realize he was vigorously fidgeting with his straw until his drink knocked over. “Shit!”

The bartender quickly came to aid and cleaned up the spill while Matt apologized a few too many times.

“Kurlzz you’re such a fuckin clutz!”

Of course they made it into a joke.

“Sorry about that, he doesn’t know when he’s had a few too many.”

Now it was too much.

Jordon saw him jump out of his seat. “Hey! Where’re you going?”

Matt hurried out the door. He was shot with dizziness and leaned against the brick wall to prevent him from falling over on the pavement. The tears became too much of a hassle to hold back anymore. He slumped downwards but felt someone picking him back up.

“Dude, get the hell up. C’mon!”

He tried to shake Jordon off of him but he wasn’t winning the fight, especially with a heaving chest. He covered his face with his hands to hide his sorrow. Jordon let go of him and watched his friend slide back down on the wall. Matt covered half of his face with his beanie and sobbed into it. He couldn’t speak. His words were stuck in his throat.

Jordon sat down next to him. He carefully wrapped his arm around Matt’s shoulder, expecting to get shrugged off, but Matt gave in and leaned his body onto him. Jordon could hear his friend hyperventilating and choking on his tears. It triggered some guilt in him.

“I’m sorry.”

Matt continued sobbing.

“I probably shouldn’t have brought you along.”

Matt sat up and lifted his beanie up from his face. His face was red and wet from his tears. He tried to steady his breathing so he could speak up. “You bring me along as a joke.”

Jordon’s face twisted in confusion, “The fuck do you mean?”

“You know what the _fuck_ I mean.”

“What the hell your problem?”

“My problem is you! You’re the fucking problem!”

“What the hell did I do?!”

Matt buried his head in his knees in frustration.

“I wish I wasn’t such a punchline to you guys.”

“Kurlzz, that…” Jordon didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “That’s not how we feel about you.”

“Are you fucking sure about that?”

“I think you’re too overwhelmed to think clearly right now.”

Matt started pounding his fist at Jordon’s chest in retaliation. He only stopped when his wrists were grabbed tightly, and tears started to fall again, and he cried into Jordon’s chest.

Jordon heaved a sigh. He held his friend to comfort him and gently rubbed his back.

“I don’t feel that way about you.”

Matt’s face was still buried in his friends chest, mumbling, “You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying to y-”

“You’re lying!”

Matt was fighting again but Jordon kept him tame. He was still crying.

“How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me?”

Matt lifted his head. His eyes were glazed with tears.

“I need a drink.”

“Not right now, let’s calm down first.”

“I am calm.”

“No you’re not, Kurlzz.”

Matt sighed heavily. He rubbed his tears away from his eyes before laying his face back down into his friends chest.

There was a couple minutes of silence between them. Only the sound of cars passing by and people walking in and out of the bar filled the void. Jordon was doing his best to comfort Matt by holding him close. He didn’t want to at first, but now that Matt wasn’t bawling his eyes out, he was comfortable with it, and he was comfortable with Matt holding him too.

“You promise you’re not lying?”

Jordon heard the quiet and raspy voice vibrate in his chest. “I don’t do it on purpose.”

“Just say you promise, please.”

“I can’t if your face is deep in my chest.”

Matt lifted his head up and rubbed the tears off of his face again. “Please.”

“Ok. I promise.”

Matt leaned his back against the wall with his knees pressed up against his chest. “Thanks.”

Jordon softly smiled and rubbed his friends shoulder, “Take it easy, ok?”

“I still need a drink, dude.”

“Are you calm? You’re not gonna, like, break down again?”

“I hope not…”

“Ok. We’ll get you something light.”

“I’m sorry for breaking down.”

Jordon paused. “I’m sorry for being a bastard.”

Matt smiled at the response.

Jordon stood up and reached his hand out to him. Matt grabbed it and lifted himself off the ground. His jeans were damp from the wet concrete. His shirt was damp from his tears. It’ll dry off, though. It’ll be ready for another day.


End file.
